ah beng jokes (part 2)

Here's more 'lame' ah beng jokes for your monday blues :-

1) On a december day

One beautiful December evening Ah Beng and his girlfriend Ah Lian were sitting by the side of the ocean.
It was a romantic full moon, when Ah Lian said "Hey baby, let's play Weeweechu." "Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon" said Ah Beng.
"Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I play Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time,"Ah Lian begged.
But Ah Beng replied, "But I rather just hold your hand and watch the moon."
"Please Ah Beng, just once play Weeweechu with me."
Ah Beng looked at Ah Lian and said, "OK, we'll play Weeweechu."
Ah Beng grabbed his guitar and both sang this song……………..
"Weeweechu a melly Clistmas,
Weeweechu a melly Clistmas,
Weeweechu a melly Clistmas, and a happy New Year”

2) Name for sister's children

Ah Beng’s pregnant sister was a victim of a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother Ah Beng came in and named them."
The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother - he's is not very smart"
Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"
"Denise," the doctor replied.
The new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!"
Then she asked the doctor, "What's the boy's name?"
The doctor replied, "DeNephew."

3) Chinese friend with a dark baby

Ah Beng received a urgent call from his friend Mr. Wong from America, "Ah Beng, I have a big problem. My baby was just born and is very black and both my wife and I are Chinese. What shall we call this baby?"
Ah Beng promptly replied, "You have no choice but to call him Sum Teng".
So Mr. Wong took Ah Beng’s advice and called his son Wong Sum Teng.
Question : Why did Ah Beng choose the name Sum Teng ?
Answer : Because in America, his name would be Sum Teng Wong (something wrong)

4) Entrance exam

Ah Beng did not do so well in his entrance examinations. So the professor called him for an interview. The professor said, “Ah Beng, your results are not so good. But you still have a chance to enter the University. I am going to ask you three questions and if you can answer one question correct, we will allow you in.
So here is the first question,
How many seconds are there in one year?” Ah Beng replied,
“Oh that is simple sir, There are 12 seconds in one year”
The professor said, “Sorry Ah Beng, your answer is wrong. How did you get 12 seconds in one year”
Ah Beng replied, “Is it not Jan 2nd, Feb 2nd, March 2nd…..”
The professor said, “Okay Ah Beng, you think very differently from others. Here is a second question.
How many “D’s” are there in Rudolf and the Rednose reindeer?”
Ah Beng thought for a while and hummed the tune and quickly answered,
“It is easy sir, there are 56 “D’s” in the song.
The professor was surprised and said, “Ah Beng, your answer is wrong. How did you get 56 ?” Ah Beng hummed the tune and said, “I thought it was Deee, deee, deee, deee, deee.deeee, ddeee………” (with the tune).
The professor said, “I am sorry Ah Beng, you are wrong again. But you have one more chance to get into the university.
Here is your last question and you must get it right.
How many “T’s” are there in a week ?
Ah Beng replied, “Ooh,, that is simple. There are 2 “T’s” in a week.
The professor gave a sigh of relief. “Ah Beng, you are finally right. You can now enroll into our university. By the way, what are the two “T’s” ?”
Ah Beng replied, “Oh. Vely simple only. Today and Tomorrow lah”

5) Flight time

Ah Beng wanted to find out how long it will take to fly from Kuala Lumpur to Tokyo.
So he calls up Malaysian Airlines and asked, “Sir, can you please tell me how long it takes to fly from KL to Tokyo ?
The airline staff replied, “Just a minute”.
Ah Beng replied, “Wow, that is fast. Thank you very much.” and hangs up the phone.

Click here for the source where i got it from :)