Saturday, July 06, 2013

when will this end?


I don't usually open my heart up on my blog, but at this hour.. none of my friends are awake to talk to me..

I thought i was doing good.. after the divorced and break up, i tried to pick up the pieces.. went for short trips, hanging out with friends, getting occupied with the new house, going to the gym and even started cooking again BUT i instantly broke down in tears again, when i was being told by C that he is proposing to his new gf.. 

I was with C for almost 2 years.. and the 2 years wasn't smooth sailing, as usual in a relationships there were ups and downs.. i started to wonder, how can he said he loves me for almost 2 years, left me, started a new relationship in 2 months and now engaged?

Was i so blind to see that, the 'I love you' wasn't sincere? to me, when i said those 3 words, i will mean it.. i wiil stick with the person through thick and thin to overcome the relationship problems and NEVER call it quits.. a part of me is just so angry.. so angry at myself for falling too hard on a guy and treating them so nice til they took advantage of me..

In a relationship, i am not calculative.. i don't draw the line.. for instance, i don't expect the guy to pay for every meal.. if the guy needs something and low in cash to buy, i will buy it for him.. when the guy has financial problem, i will help him out.. and when the guy said he needs his rest during the weekends and doesn't want to see and have lunch/dinner with my mum, i will be fine with seeing my mum myself.. when the guy wants to stay home, i will keep in accompany.. and if the guy wants to eat at home, i will cook.. and i know how guys hate to clean the house, i will clean it WITHOUT complains.. when the guy has to travel frequently for work, i trusted him completely and won't disturb him with text messages..

My friends said that i am just too nice.. doing all the things that the guy wants and pampering him.. and that is when the guy will take advantage.. it just hurts so bad that i gave them my heart and what i got in return is a broken heart.. and also tears.. 

When will this pain go away?? will it ever go away?

4 comments:

sami = monk said...

u deserve better :)

:: Nicole.F :: said...

thanks sami = monk, :)

傻瓜 said...

Don't think so much Nicole.
Don't cry for a man tat doesn't love u anymore. +U+U

Ng Elyssa said...

Hey dear. Do not cry over a guy who is not meant to be with you. It is better to have him gone now rather than later. You will someday find your someone and it will feel great :). Do not loose hope