Monday, June 10, 2013

does 'it' still exist?

I heard this over the radio the other

'What does a girl really want?
To find 1 guy who would prove to her that not all guys are the same'

I started dating when i was 18.. i started late coz my mum had been trying to protect me for the longest time.. especially when i was in secondary school.. she put me in an all girl's school and restricted me from having guy friends.. i had to be back home right after school or tuition and i can't go out during weekends with friends as she knew there will be boys.. my mum warned me about boys, that they will break my heart if i am not careful.. i didn't understand that time, why would she do that? i felt like a prisoner.. no freedom and no social life.. how i envied my friends having the freedom to go out..

When i started college, i had a crush on a guy.. i confessed to him AND thank god, he didn't run away from me! hahaha.. we're still friends til this very day :D

What i am trying to say that, i've seen, heard and went through too much.. now i am doubting, is there really true love out there? is there such thing as loyalty and faithfulness anymore?

As all you know, my heart had been broken way many times before.. got married, divorced, dated again and dumped.. from my own experience, the guys i've been with.. even they were attached to me, they would still flirt.. and some, they didn't even tell me that they had a gf besides me!

Now, i could feel that i no longer can trust a guy or someone.. i don't know if i can love again.. i've started to build walls around me.. even my friend said that it is so hard to get me to let her know what i am feeling.. i don't tend to easily open up anymore.. all my emotions i just lock it up.. i tried to cry inside, not letting anyone see.. especially my mum.. i feel that no one could understand me and what can they do? how are they gonna help me? will they judge me? criticise me? backstabbing behind my back and tell other people about my story, adding some 'spice' to it?

Recently i've came across so many stories.. not only guys cheated but girls as well.. 

For instance, a married woman cheated her husband with a MARRIED man; married men having mistresses; guys with gf flirts; women having toy boys; and etc..

Do love, loyalty and faithfulness still EXIST out there?


eRiCa said...

You have to forgive to forget, and forget, to feel again ..

Elyssa said...

Erica is right. You have to learn to let go of the past and be willing to accept new love when it comes. If it breaks you again, stand back up and continue your journey. A time will come when you meet that someone who will be faithful to you. Not all is lost in this world. Hang on there

Berry Ling said...

Dear Nic-o-le

I been reading your blog for quite sometime, honestly speaking i think you deserve better... give yourself sometime and invest in yourself more.. along the way... you will find " The One " ... I been dump 4 time because i'm too loyal to girl.. But i still stand back believe that not all the girl are the same.. You have believe..

Not all guy out there are the same.. There are guy who are loyal and perfect.. Just believe and wait.. When god push you around.. It always reward you in the end.. :) Cheer sis.

Wong C. Martin said...

Saw this article this morning, just sharing :)