Tuesday, August 15, 2006

how to modify a car?

For those jokers who thinks modifying a proton satria/accord/vios/ etc etc just for the sake of looking ' cool ' when you have no idea what 'modifying ' a car is all about.

Here's what european
ppl think of this kinda jerks :
When a moron (see: retard, dumb@$$) decides to
take a car (foreign or domestic) and tries to make it look fast. The car will not really gain any HP or performance, but it will gain numerous
stickers and shiny paint.

can be identified by one of the followings:

1. Huge exhaust that serves no purpose but to make the car louder.

2. Incorrect Badgings. (i've seen myself a Perodua Kelisa with a BMW logo!)

3. Insanely
large exhaust tips (5" in diameter or greater).

4. A Honda that has "performance mods" such as stickers, seat harnesses, and a fire extinguisher in full view (just in case the things catches on fire when it hits 60 km/h).

5. A driver who claims his car has 100 HP per liter but will not fess up to the fact that his car has a total of 43 ft/lbs of torque.

6. Spoilers & bodykits; especially those made of cardboard or plastic.

7. Large spoiler on the back that looks like something Boeing made for the 747.

8. Bodykit to make the car appear lower, usually accented with chicken wire.

The Laws

Law#1-Pronounce N.O.S. as one word (NAWS).

Law#2-When you are outpowered, call people out with your friends car.

Law#3-Have an aftermarket body kit installed (Lips not included).

Law#4-Use of neons or L.E.D.'s to light up your car.

Law#5-Use an aftermarket tachometer ... when your car already has a working stock tachometer in it.

Law#6-You must install a non-functional wing/spoiler on the back of your car.

Law#7-Names of performance parts on your car that you dont have.

Law#8-Claim to beat cars that your car is totally uncapable of beating.

Law#9-Magazine race.

Law#10-Install racing seats on a car that runs a 14 second or slower quarter mile.

Law#11-Listing stereo equiptment or any visual mod when listing all your performance mods.

Law#12-Believe that Honda invented VTEC.

Law#13-Putting sub-brand labels on your car ... example: Honda emblems on an Acura, Audi on a VW .. etc.

Law#14-Install an aftermarket duel-exhaust on a 4- cylinder.

Law#15-Make your exhaust sound like a lawn-mower.

Law#16-Buy a nitrous system just to purge.

Law#17-Mounting smaller tires to decrease gear ratio.

Law#18-Multi collored body panels.

Law#19-Claiming horse power and quarter mile times without testing or proof.

Law#20-Talk about how fast your car will be once you buy and install all the parts.

Okay, okay i admit.. i've done some of the mods mentioned above BUT i didn't OVER do it.. hehe.. i used to work as a part time cashier at my friend's accessories shop and i've seen MANY of those 'hideous' monster.. i was like.. oh nooooooooooooooooo......


Anonymous said...

honda DID invent VTEC ;)

but variable valve timing was invented by GM ;)

Anonymous said...

Don't forget one very important thing Nic:



:: Nicole.F :: said...

haha.. yeah.. the decal stickers especially.. muhahahhaa