Wednesday, June 20, 2007

sacrifice?

Beware: this is a disturbing post to some people.. don't blame me if you develop teary eye after reading it

Soon it will be 2 months since my bb is back.. but it seems like he just came back yesterday.. the happy times that we spent just passed by so quickly while the times when we spent apart passed by ever so slowly *sigh* now, it is time for my bb to go back to work..

My bb got to know that he'd be leaving between the 20th to 26th this month last week.. i ALWAYS dreaded about this.. i won't want him to go.. one night as we were lying on the bed while hugging, i thought about having to move on with my life without him.. before i knew, tears were rolling down my cheeks.. my bb looked at me, brushed my hair aside and said "don't cry baby.. ".. i hugged him even more tighter and i cried.. this trip will be his 4th trip after we got to know each other.. but still i can't help it not feeling sad that he has to go away for work..

My bb once told me that he's working for our future.. he's working hard so that we could have a comfortable life.. i know that's the reality.. but it's just so hard to make sacrifices.. i know by him going off for work, it'd be a lil closer for me to get my new car, a lil closer for us to save up money for the future and etc..

I know that i have my friends here to keep me company BUT i know too that they can't be there for me all the time.. not on weekdays for sure.. but this time, luckily i have boboie here to keep me company and our new condo and my bb's car to check on.. *thanks bb for buying boboie* he's such a cute and adorable doggie and i promise i'd take good care of him..

Anyway, sorry guys for not putting up any pictures OR for not updating my blog frequently.. i just want to spend as much time as possible with my bb before he goes off for 2 months.. yeah, 2 months = 8 weeks = 56 days.. it will be a long long wait for me.. hopefully.. i mean seriously i do hope and wish time would just fly by and have my bb back in my arms.. this time, at the end of this trip is what i'm looking forward for.. coz by the time my bb is back in mid august, my bb can see some progression on our condo, he can drive his car to pick me up (just like the 1st time he came over to pick me up for our 1st date), take me to 'Out of Africa' (1st place where we had our dinner) AND also it'd be our 1st year anniversary of knowing and meeting each other for the 1st time..

I have things to look forward BUT right now, i can't help feeling sad.. my bb won't be next to me when i wake up in the morning, he won't be there eating with me, won't be there hugging me while watching movie, he won't be here to give me small lil pecks on my cheek and etc.. i'd miss him terribly :'(

Okay, i think i better go now before my tears start rolling down my cheeks.. coz my bb is next to me updating his blog.. i wish i can be strong and not break down every time i think of him going away for work..

To my loving bb,

i want to be strong for you BUT it's just so hard.. i love to see your smile and hear your laughter.. i love to cuddle next to you and smell your shirt.. i love to feel safe whenever you hugged me.. but i won't be able to do that in a couple of days :( i'm sorry for feeling this way EVERYTIME when you have to go.. but here i'd promise you that i'd try.. TRY to be strong and wait for you to come back to me.. i love you bb.. always and forever *muacks*

11 comments:

ckwei said...

all i can say is cheer up, it could be worse :) at least now u guys have a pretty certain 2 months separation, rather than complete uncertainty as to how often u'll be able to meet :)i myself am facing that prob, cos when me and my gf graduates, we'll be separated for unknown durations =/

moi said...

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Was just wondering how long have you guys been married?

And do you think it is possible to be married to the guy you've been dating since college up to this point?

About 2.5 years now and we'll be seperated just like you and Russ will be except that I do not know when our paths will cross again.

:: Nicole :: said...

ckwei: am sorry to hear that.. it sucks BIG time to be separated from the one we love :(

moi: me and russ just tied the knot actually.. like erm... less than 8 months ago..

as for you questions, well it's possible to marry the guy u've been dating since college.. i've friends who has been dating since college.. when they were back in aussie doing their degree, it was like 5 years ago and now they're still together..

if both of u guys really want each other, u have to put effort to the r'ship.. but if u guys really have to be separated, then take it as a test.. to see if u guys are really fated to be with each other.. sometimes it's funny the way things work out for u.. who knows, one day u guys would bump back into each other and the feelings re-surface again? or maybe u guys still keep in touch and when the right time comes, u guys could get back together :) just take things easy or one step at a time

for me, i'm blessed that i found russ :) i guess it's fate too.. coz of ALL the other r'ships me and him went through last time, we finally found each other on an online car forum!! haha..

ckwei said...

well nic, i'm sure everything will work out for me in the end, as it will for you. what ever happens, happens :)

moi : surprisingly, i am in the same situation as u. i've known my gf since college, when she came to malaysia to study. then i was supposed to leave for aus, but i delayed and stayed back doing extra sems here just to wait for her because she cant afford to come for the full duration. in the beginning my gf couldnt afford it, but i persuaded her, even my parents offering to foot her expenses here just to encourage her, but at last she managed to come through, and we furthered our studies in aus together.

its 3 months away to our 3rd anniversary, but its 6 months away until uncertainty starts to loom. but whatever it is, we've agreed on marriage, so yes, as nicole has said it, it is very much possible to marry the one u've dated since college. and whether it'll work out or not? that'll depend on the compromises and sacrifices that are willing to be made.

:: Nicole :: said...

ckwei: if both u guys plan to come back to KL to work then it won't be a problem.. or maybe u guys could find a job at the same place? like in a same country.. that would help :)

jasonphoon said...

I'm almost in the same situation. except that I'll be gone for at least 2 years.

It's not going to be a long-distance relationship, and me and her are going to date other people.

Somehow I still know that me and her will be together again one day ...

lovegoddess said...

myself was in LDR some time ago but didnt work out. but then again we were both young at the time and many differences in between. And again, every case of LDR is unique.

You and Russ are already married. With matrimonial affirmation, the man and woman work hard to build and further nourish the relationship. so in that sense just have to be strong for the temporary wait while he goes to work every 1-2months. I know its not easy, as i've been there.

time will make you strong and stonger Nic ;) God Bless

"Joe" who is constantly craving said...

hey stay strong..u can do it..blink of an eye and he will be back..actually i probably be like u la..sure miss..it means u love him mah..

Anita Krishnan said...

Nicole: Long distance relationships are never easy. I've been on that road before. It is a big testing ground, but what doesn't break you only makes you stronger (in this case your relationship). I'm glad that you and Russ are so much in love. Hang in there. Time will fly quite speedily and before you know it, he will be in your arms again.

Liz said...

Dear Nicole,

I understand how you feels and how difficult it can be for you. I believe everything will turn out fine for you and your husband. I am in a rather similar situation myself. I met my boyfriend during my internship in Europe 2 years ago. During this 2 years, we only manage to spend 7 months together. Although I must admit that we are unseparable for these 7 months. It has been almost 8 months since he left for home. Although we have plans to meet again this year but many circumstances made it difficult. I am almost at the brink of giving up after all those emotional roller coaster. He is not giving up though and kept reassuring everything will be fine as long as we have each other in our heart. So, everything will be fine for you and Russ and for me and M. I hope. So take care. Hang on there girl. These will only make us tougher. ;)

ckwei said...

nic : i wish it was that easy. for all the money we've spent on education, it'll be a waste working in kl for peanuts, and it'll take decades to recoup the losses. that said, even if i wanted to, gf cant work in kl cos she's not a malaysian. but hey, like we've said, when there's a will, there's a way. we'll tackle it when it comes though.

in the meantime, hang in there. 2 months will be over quite fast, what u need is just something to occupy your time with :)