Sunday, May 30, 2010

why?

It has been almost 4 years i've disconnected from the society.. and lately, i've found out that things have changed.. it seems like everything now is so.. temporary.. jobs, friends, relationships, marriages..

Why can't people take things seriously anymore? is it coz of temptations? influences? immaturity? irresponsible?

Recently my friend just told me that his gf dumped him.. it was a 4 years relationship.. it was his fault for not showing her enough how much she means to him.. she asked him to marry her but he hesitated, thinking that he's not ready and she's not the one.. and when she finally had enough, told him she found someone new and she doesn't love him anymore, he finally realized how much he loves her.. but everything is just too late.. he took her love for granted.. this is one of the reasons why some relationships don't last long..

Another friend of mine got dumped by his gf of 3 years coz she feels that my friend didn't do his best for the relationship.. her expectations were higher than reality.. she expects him to do this and that.. she's more successful in her career compare to my friend.. my friend was struggling financially.. so i guess she had enough of going through hard times with him.. but it's not like my friend wasn't trying.. he was trying to make his own business work while working part time and also looking for better jobs.. he feels that he had done the best he could.. he thinks that he might think he did his best but maybe he could have do it even better..

Now he just got a job and it's paying quite well.. the only downside to it, is.. he's on a contract basis.. 3 months contract + 3 months contract + 3 months probation.. i was like omg.. means that he can get fired anytime in 9 months period.. companies are getting smart nowadays.. they doesn't want to confirm a staff so soon as if they fired them, they have to pay compensation.. hence now, most companies will have either 6 months or 9 months probation and some they don't even confirm a staff anymore..

It seems like nothing is taken seriously anymore.. even marriages as well.. what happen to the marriage vow?

"for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; until death do us part"

More and more people are divorcing nowadays.. divorces today is becoming alarming, more so when the reasons given are flimsy, which could have been settled amicably.. it seems like people could just state irreconcilable differences as reason for divorce and the judge will grant it..

Why can't people try their best to work things out? why would they give up so easily? why people would be so irresponsible to the marriage vows? is it a joke to them?

No one said earning a living is easy.. no one said marriages are easy as well.. it takes time, effort, patience to make things work.. people tend to take the easy way out now and taking things for granted.. if one thing doesn't work, give up and jump to another job/relationship..

It's just so scary outside now.. everything is so short term.. people are just getting less responsible towards their actions, promises, vows, jobs and etc..

15 comments:

Lyssa said...

Would like to say something. Job is a "thing". Marriage/relationship is a "live" thing. To me,it is two different things. Once a job is gone, you can always find another job..you do not owe the company anything.Plus if you leave with good reputation, you can always go back to that company.
But once you break someone's heart in a relationship, you can never mend it back as it used to be.

:: Nicole.W :: said...

what i'm saying is the whole picture.. u can lose a job, just like that.. even relationships or marriage.. nothing seems permanent anymore.. ppl change jobs like changing clothes.. less than a year they'd change.. now, marriages and relationships seems to work that way too

:: Nicole.W :: said...

ppl nowadays just not responsible to what they have now.. they take things for granted and never appreciate what they have

QQAlice said...

Hi Nicole...how have u been? though i didnt leave comment lately i still read your blog !! but this time for the last two blogs (Why and Brain washing), I just gotta tell you that...generally, nowadays in this world...what you have just said in these 2 blogs are so true.
I am not saying everyone does the same but in general. They are still pretty traditional people out there. However, in this century now, like u said, TEMPTATIONS are everywhere and i personal thought thats the core issue in peoples life now.

Meanwhile, didnt you realise whats the motto now people carrying? " Life is so short, you never know when you are going to end, just do whatever to make you happy because that is your life". When they are telling themselves about this and agreeing it, they forgot anybody else.

Because of this motto "Life is so short" and "temptations" people tend to forget be responsible towards THEMSELVES.

Nat said...

I believe in general human beings are selfish. Life is based on the wants and needs, and those wants and needs are very volatile, changes over time.

And I also believe that, we who are aware must constantly remind ourselves and to each other what really matters in life, and who really matters, and stick to the pledge that we have made to aspects of our life. Not to succumb to every fickle of desire that comes in.

Nat said...

Oh yeah, instill that sense into our children too. =)

:: Nicole.W :: said...

yea.. i just feel that people nowadays aren't committed anymore.. be it with jobs, relationship, marriage and even dogs..

can u imagine ppl dumping their dogs just coz they aren't cute anymore (means not puppy cute) or they are sick or broken a paw.. sigh~

sugarpurple said...

dont think things have changed at all for the past 4 years (since you disconnected from society), infact it hasnt changed at all since mankind.

Of course there are more occurances now, the human population has had a significant increase for one. having said that there are so many other factors to consider now, for example independence, exposure, freedom of choice, etc.

besides, nothing is forever. everything comes to an end & everything is temporary. in fact I think people make the choices they do because they take their life more seriously now & only want the best for themselves. best in this context isnt perfect but something the individual wants. there is absolutely nothing wrong for not compromising & settling for anything less.

just my two cents worth

:: Nicole.W :: said...

yes, ppl want the best for themselves hence they become more selfish.. they won't consider how many ppl they have hurt along the way, or how many jobs they changed and etc.. job hopping leaves a bad reputation for them but they won't care..

now ppl tend to have this motto 'life is short, hence enjoy it'.. i have this motto too but to me, it's more on life is short, we should appreciate things or ppl who is around us.. not by being selfish

ppl now don't tend to care about the future.. all they care is the present.. drink, eat, be happy, sleep with as many girls/guys they can and etc..

it didn't changed drastically.. but like u said many factors made ppl change.. gradually over time..

u are right, there's nothing wrong for not compromising & settling for anything less but u gotta know the consequences and don't be a d**k and hurt so many ppl in the process

:: Nicole.W :: said...

ppl tend to go after the better things in life which isn't wrong but sometimes it's like chasing your own shadow or a rainbow.. most of the time there is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow..

u keep chasing it but at the end, along the way u've lost things or important ppl who really cares about u.. sometimes u gotta slow down, stop and smell the flowers

mun said...

I agree with you about slowing down and stop to smell the flowers but about changing jobs, there is nothing wrong about changing jobs when one finds that the job is no longer suitable. Even companies are constantly downsizing and retrenching employees to there is no such thing as not leaving for better job prospect due to being loyal to a company. But loyalty and being faithful to one's partner, spouse, gf/bf, friends is another story all together. Not to be spoken of in the same breath as loyalty to companies (imho).

:: Nicole.W :: said...

i'm not talking about loyalty to companies.. yea it's normal to leave when u find the job isn't suitable but some ppl now, they get accepted for a job, then they leave after a month or less and get a new job coz of higher position and pay.. constantly jumping to a new job..

before accepting a job, if u think it's not up to your expectations in salary wise, then don't take up the job.. why take up a job and then leave after a few days or weeks? it will make u have a bad reputation and impression.. some industry is pretty small and news spread.. don't that make u look bad? plus it will make u even harder to get a new job

mun said...

well, sometimes people need to earn some money to pay the bills however low the salary may be until they can manage to find a higher paying job. If the higher paying job never comes, then they'll just stay at the low pay job. If it comes, then leave. If the person is capable and has ability to do the work, I don't think job-hopping will bring that much damage to the person. Companies are always looking for capable people and some companies are willing to snatch employees from rival companies with a little bit more pay. It is a free labour market after all. If the companies are so afraid of job-hoppers, then in the job contract, just bind the employee to give more months of notice before leaving but usually during the probation period, the notice period is very short so this means companies do expect people to leave with a short notice during the probation period.

I'm just curious, why are you feeling this way for job-hoppers?Afraid for them - afraid that they may get a bad reputation from job hopping and may not get another job?

Of course you are fully entitled to your feelings about job hoppers. I am just curious only :)

mun said...

Perhaps you would be interested to read the online article here entitled "Why Job Hoppers Make the Best Employees". Just sharing that's all.

:: Nicole.W :: said...

i have a couple of friends who keeps job hopping.. one of them, keeps hopping up to higher positions but in fact he doesn't have the experience and qualifications but yet he can get those positions..

i heard that many ppl now don't even know how to do their job properly.. and i do sometimes why companies would hire under qualified employees