Monday, April 27, 2009


Can anyone tell me what men and women need the most from each other? i came across this lil info which is well, basically quite true.. to most of us.. women and men need different things from each other..

For women
No. 1 : affection
No. 2 : conversations
No. 3 : honesty and openness

For men
No. 1 : sexual fulfillment
No. 2 : recreational companionship
No. 3 : attractive spouses

So, what do you think? is it true? i think it is...

Let's see a lil more details, shall we?

Sex don't last forever.. that's when understanding comes in.. you see, when a man get married under normal circumstances, that is to say he's promising to treat his wife as his one and only sexual partner till death do them apart..

But a man's way of showing affection to the wife isn't just through sex.. a woman needs something more than sex.. she needs AFFECTION.. be it a hug, a kiss, a little present, a surprise, a call.. and a woman needs to TALK things out..

That's when CONVERSATION comes in.. normally, as you can see, when a couple is married long enough, they found lesser and lesser things to talk about..

And why a spouse will engage in extra-martial affairs is when the 3rd party can give him or her something that his or her own spouse could not give..

I just couldn't agree more.. what about you?

As for recreational companionship, normally,before a couple is married, they will engage in activities together.. men usually associate these time spent together as something good but after marriage, some women tend to stay at home and take care of either kids or families.. so some guys will feel "cheated"

It's like a LOVE BANK, with Love Units (LUs)... let's say a woman engages in the same activity with the spouse, and they enjoyed the session, Love Units of the woman will increase in the man's heart..

But let's say.. the woman no longer engage in the same activity, the LU will remain the same in the man's heart..

And when another woman comes and engages in the same activity as the man, the LUs of that woman in the man's heart will increase, and perhaps go higher than the spouse.. that's when the man is stuck..

So the thing is.. no matter how busy you are, always find time to do some activities that you and your spouse enjoy doing together.. spend quality time together

For me, i always believe in that.. that's why i always make time (as if i'm busy :p), to accompany my bb to do things.. be it going to gym or swimming or attending gathering with car owners or watching movies or clubbing or cooking or snorkelling or etc..

Honesty and open-ness is important to a woman because it's how they associate being stable and emotionally secure.. every woman has a deep craving to know every parts of her husband's life.. every detail.. in which some men hate it.. as they feel like an invasion of privacy but a couple must learn to share burdens.. not just the good times..

I always had this craving actually.. wanting to know more BUT sometimes the past is the past.. no point looking back..

Attractive spouses.. guys want attractive women.. men usually judge by outward appearances.. so men are stimulated by sight.. men appreciate beauty..

See.. a woman don't mind her man rugged BUT a man mind his woman not being well-groomed..

For e.g. if a woman weighs 60kg before marriage and after marriage, balloons up to 80kg and making no efforts to dress up, how would the man feel?

Understanding is one thing, but to men, outward appearance is important..

Guys, i'm pretty sure it's oh-so-true riiiiiight? as for me, that is the reason why i bought the weighing scale is to keep my weight check plus i do go on diets.. it has been a long 3 months since i had pizza, kfc or any fast food.. well except eating mcd once :P

Besides my weight, my appearance.. er.... yes, i do not wear any make up BUT i do make an effort to wear at least eye liner or mascara when i go out.. hehe..

Domestic support, as in, men generally hates to do housework.. even if they do it, it'll be a hard task for them..

All men would like to come home to a clean and beautiful home, where dinner is already prepared, bathwater prepared for them, obedient kids doing homework.. stuff lilke that...

But then, women these days are also working.. so it's hard for them too.. that's why a lot of conflicts arise..

When a couple is newly-wed, it's easier to divide chores.. but when kids arrive, it's hard to balance all..

That's why it was recommended that a maid be hired to avoid such conflicts.. easier for women and men.. what's the cost of a maid, as compared to the cost of marriage..

If a man find no domestic support at home, he would be reluctant to go home.. why would he?

But even if a woman is a housewife, you don't marry a woman so that she can do chores..

I do have a lil advantage of this as my bb isn't around all the time, i'm not working and we don't have any kids YET.. hence i have all the time in the world to house chores.. plus my bb doesn't mind doing some chores when he's back.. hey, he cooked for me and i wash the dishes :)

Anyway, the last point is ADMIRATION.. ALL men would want their partners to admire them.. accept them for who they are and not change them, in that sense.. it's about attitudes and treatment, i guess..

All these while, i've been looking up to my bb and am proud of him.. he work hard for our future.. he has achieved so much for someone his age and he didn't started out easy.. he worked his way up hence i do really admire him :)

There.. what do you all think? agree or disagree? does this post make you understand the opposite sex a lil better? ;)


Nat said...

I think I find my needs leaning towards the women's perspective. I prefer what women want rather than what guys want.

But overtime I think this classification might seem less accurate. You do get more and more guys starting to treasure the 3 points for women. And this is not just pertaining to gay people.

Still, majority of guys are still like that. ahaha. I'm kinda pissed why most guys place all sorts of stereotypical rules to distinguish themselves from gay people. I mean, if a guy compliments another guy... doesn't mean he has affection for the other right? Really have masculinity issues.


sugarpurple said...

completely disagree but seems like this concept works for you. whatever that rocks your boat!

i will also have to second Nat.

this is simply a make believe social classification people have developed over centuries.

lovegoddess said...

whether i disagree or agree, what you wrote is definitely worth looking at :)

thanks for your point of view :)

love between man and women is a constant struggle and achievement