Sunday, January 20, 2008

what is happening to me?

I don't know what happened to me.. i got no clue.. i just don't feel like i know myself anymore.. i said things without meaning it and blurting out words without even thinking of the consequences..

Alas, i think i'm having a breakdown.. emotion breakdown.. i was being NOT rationale at all.. emotions came first before my senses.. before i knew it, i was upset, angry, depressed, crying and etc.. what is happening to me??

I didn't eat much today.. i didn't feel like doing anything or talking to anyone at all.. i was like in my lil own world.. just thinking about things.. things which i've done and regretted so badly..

Is it because i'm missing my bb?? is it because we hardly chat online?? is it because we hardly email to each other too?? is it because we didn't spend as much time as we used to when he was back?? is it because he's been away for too long?? OR is it because it's the time of the month?? i don't know..

FYI: some people might say this 'I told you so.. it's better to have your hubby by your side than him always going away to work.. money isn't everything'.. so before you could say anything like that, i'd like to say 'i'm only human.. i can be emotional AND please, everyone has their own reason for doing what they are doing with their life.. so do not make any judgements/conclusions and think that what's BEST for you would be the BEST for everyone'

Maybe i just need a break.. to go somewhere with my bb.. spending quality time together and no one would be able to find us.. the 2 of us.. just me and my bb..

Hopefully in less than 3 weeks, my bb will be back.. i wish time could just fly by.. i just can't bear to be away from my bb for so long.. i miss him terribly.. i tried so hard to be strong and i thought after 2 weeks i finally did it but guess i'm wrong..

*S I G H*

ps: my bb has been doing almost 3 trips in a row (egypt - trinidad - egypt).. 12 weeks altogether.. so i think it's norm for me to feel this way??


Adrianne said...

Hey, hang in there. I think it's only human for one to feel that way when you're missing someone so terribly. My husband's only been away for 2 days and I'm missing him already. Can't even concentrate at work because I keep thinking of his well-being. So I bet you must feel alot worse than me since your bb has been away for so long. Stay strong

anitakrishlee said...

Hey Nicole, It's alright to get emotional. We're all human. It must be very difficult to have someone you love away from you for a long time. Just look forward to his return.

ilovepearly said...

Hope things return back to normal for it. It happens, once in a while we feel lost and confuse but just be strong and have his support.

Eugene said...

Can't say I know how you feel but I think it's absolutely normal to get emotional especially when your hubby's away for long periods while you're alone and missing your hubby so much.

As the breadwinner, Russ' gotta do what a man's gotta do. You're doing great as an understanding and supportive wife, hang in there alright?


Fashionasia said...

perhaps u should try and occupy yourself with some hobbies...time goes by faster that way....or u can get a busy job..time goes by even faster!! ;)
chin-up girl!

Miss Piggy Lass said...

I guess you miss having ur hubby around? You feel lonely? Everyone feels that way sometimes. Why not go out for abit or hang out with friends and family? It helps. At least you won't feel that depressed, someone to talk to :)

chewy said...

Whatever that is bothering you, take your time & think it over. Hopefully you'd find the cause and find a way to deal with it. Being emotional is just one way of releasing your feelings, etc but it wont help dealing with the issue. Anyway about missing your husband, as each day passess by, its just one day closer for him to be back. focus on that and it might seem a little easier to handle.

Hedonistics Anonymous said...

you're not having your period, are you? coz that's exactly how i feel a couple of days before and during my period. anyway, i think you're just feeling emotionally insecure. it happens to the best of us, so don't worry. best thing to do during times like these is to keep yourself busy and distracted.


Anonymous said...

hey there, welcome to emo monday ...

well, go through this enough and maybe one day we'll be stronger ?

:: Nicole :: said...

thanks guys for all our advices :) really really appreciate it *hugz*

hedo: yea, it was the time of the month also so i guess, it made it worse :P~